The piece below was written by my Fiancé who lost his father to Cancer, this piece and my partners loss (as well as my own) is what encourages and motivates me to do the Relay For Life. Any pain felt during the event or as a result of the event is short lived compared to the pain of watching a loved one suffer then losing them forever.
I walked 87 laps (which is just over 45km) across 22 hours (2pm Saturday March 1st – 12pm Sunday March 2nd), including 12:30am until 2am Sunday morning but that’s nothing….
For the loved ones I’ve lost to Cancer, my cousin Matt when he was 9 (and I was 11), my Grandfather and the Father-In-Law I will never get to meet…. You are forever loved and never forgotten
It was almost five years ago I lost my father, Vaughn, after what felt like an eternity battling Brain Cancer. When I tried to speak at his funeral, and indeed many times over the weeks following I broke down in tears, uncontrollably. Probably the only time I’ve wept like that in my adult life.
Was it because I missed him, or because I was sad? Not so much. I’m not saying for a second that I don’t miss him, believe me I do – now more than ever, knowing he’ll never get to be at my wedding, or even meet my beautiful fiancé. However, What really overcame me was the bitter sense of sorrow I felt for him that I’d been holding back those last few months. The pain of watching my father, someone who I had depended on and looked up to all my life, slowly descend to a point of being completely bed ridden, unable to talk or feed himself. Watching a once strong, active man who taught me how to do things like cut trees and build stuff first loose the ability to string a sentence together. Just sitting there and watching him struggle over a simple word, which just moments ago he’d used in phrase perfectly fine was heart breaking to consider what this meant to a former scientist who had been regarded as an intellectual expert in his field for many years.
That’s the truly upsetting part of having a loved one go through suffering cancer, it’s not the pain of loosing them (while that hurts enough on it’s own), it’s what it does to them that is truly horrific, and while I could say that it’s my wish that no body else’s love one should suffer pain like this, I know, as we all do, that we are far from seeing a blanket cure for every form of this cruel disease and even then, for those that are lucky enough to survive, existing cures can be almost as tough as the disease itself.
What I do know however, is that the Cancer Society do some amazing work to help and take care of sufferers and their families and; ultimately, strive towards finding a cure. That painful journey of watching someone decline in such agony, these people endure that journey time after time, day in, day out and still do it with tremendous warmth, caring and compassion. They truly deserve any help we can give them.
I know there are very few of you out there who don’t at least have some appreciation of how cruel this disease can be but I wanted to share my thoughts and particularly the selfless work of the Cancer Society. So please, please support the Cancer Society whenever you get the chance. We’re walking in the relay for life again this weekend and would hugely appreciate any support you can give us – 100% of the funds raised go to the Cancer Society to help continue their work.
Please feel free to share. Thanks for reading!
So donate to the visit Relay For Life we’re team FUN FOLLY AND WALKING and took part in HAMILTON.