All good inventions start with a need, a need or demand that isn’t currently fulfilled. And I have come up with the latest good invention. I haven’t completely thought it through; it’s still just an idea without any consideration for “how”.
The “how” is a minor detail at the moment, the focus is the great big need for communication between drivers in traffic. I’m not talking philosophical communication; I’m talking about the need to tell the woman in the car in front that she’s in the way.
This isn’t a road rage tool. This isn’t violent but I guess it could include colourful language if you choose.
After sitting behind people who are blocking lanes, waiting for monuments gaps in traffic or are simply driving like blind old women in the fast line, I’ve discovered the need to communicate with other drivers. Currently everyone tottles along in their cars, windows up, music blearing and there’s no way to communicate with them. There is no way to tell them to “hurry the f#@k up”.
The answer, a Siri based system. Like on the iPhone you simply push a button on your dashboard and dictate your message to Siri. Then the message is displayed across your back dash or side window for your fellow motorists to read.
Of course you’d need to speak very slowly and very clearly, as Siri has a habit for getting things a little wrong. For example “how bigger gap are you waiting for” could come out as “how did you get what you’re waiting for”, which has a fractionally different meaning. Thanking someone could come out as “thank you for leaking me and” which again is slightly off and not quite “Thank you for letting me in”.
But slightly incorrect Siri messages aren’t the point, the point; the wondrous point is people could stop driving along oblivious to their driving habits. People could be thanked properly instead of drivers flashing lights, waving their hands and hoping the person letting them in at the lights got the message, the correct message.
While from time to time I’d like to tell someone to “hurry up”, or “move it” but the need initially rose from the desire to properly thank someone. Driving to work on Friday a kind woman let me into the flow of traffic, I’d been waiting five minutes or more so was pretty thankful. I did my normal thank you routine, once in front of the woman, I flashed my hazard lights and waved my hand at rear-view mirror height. I thought she’d understand. She didn’t. I looked back to see the woman with a mortified look on her face, she looked totally shocked and stunned.
As the traffic started to shuffle forward the woman who’d let me in pulled up beside me. I turned to make eye contact and smile. Only to see her quite literally nutting off, at me! Now I was the one who was shocked and stunned. She even took the time to wind down her window and yell at me “that’s the last time I let you in, you ungrateful B*#ch!”. I guess my “thank you” strategy was less than successful.
Had I been able to use the In-car Siri Communication system (a working title) I’m quite confident I would’ve been able to thank the woman properly. Instead she’ll continue to think I’m rude, and I’ll attempt a new light flashing, hand waving combo that better represents “thank you”.