Mild adventurer. Prolific daydreamer. Always authentic.
Dear Diary

small talk vs. BIG TALK

It wasn’t quite “…boldly going where n man has gone before” but it certainly fucking felt like it.

I was going out for “dinner with the girls” which is seemingly harmless when you know The Girls, but I didn’t. Well I didn’t know ALL of these girls… the evening was organised by the gorgeous Nicki with the aim of introducing people to one another and giving us all the opportunity to connect with more ladies from the area.
NEW PEOPLE…. aaarrrrrrgggh! NEW PEOPLE, are you freaking kidding me??!!
Mid way through last week the phrase “first impressions count” suddenly flew into my mind and I went into a mini tail spin, thinking about what I’d wear, what I’d say and generally how the evening would go. I contemplated pulling the pin and being “sick“, but realised I can’t be “sick” and avoid life forever and I certainly can’t let my own neuroses dictate my social calendar.

NEW PEOPLE…. half way through last week was a very very frightening thought.

I panicked about the contents of my wardrobe, suddenly feeling like an exploded sausage burst out of all my clothes. I panicked about the bags under my eyes and contemplated wearing my reading glasses to hide them which is ridiculous and impractical. I panicked about being judged and saying the wrong thing. I teleported myself back to high school and then panicked about not being cool.

A while back I would’ve sat and festered with my panic, ultimately convincing myself not to go. This time I tried a different approach. I came clean. I double checked my friends were still going and then admitted I was feeling panicked. Oddly enough admitting it drained my panic of its power… I instantly felt a little better. My friends admitted they were feeling a little nervous too and assured me that everyone was lovely,  which immediately depleted my panic of even more power.

Sometimes I stupidly convince myself that a problem shared is in fact just a problem doubled, but sharing my anxiety around tiptoeing outside of my comfort zone was as they say… a problem halved.

Everyone was lovely… there was no push or shoving, catty comments or scenes from Mean Girls. In fact I even learned something. I had a lightbulb moment.

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My lightbulb moment was about small talk, which I generally loath yet often find myself falling victim to. One of the girls mentioned a great clip they’d seen on YouTube. A clip which documented the start of a fabulous project to aimed at ending small talk and instead having deeper, more meaningful conversations. This is an amazingly beautiful and simple concept is giving back some of what social media has taken away… proper, meaningful conversations.

This new acquaintance had come armed with great conversation and was willing to ask … “If you knew you were going to die on Monday, what would you do tomorrow” a far better conversation than where do you work and a much more interesting way to learn about someone. Too often in life we sit around discussing other people, making small talk, and mentioning tid-bits from our day. We skip the more in-depth and meaningful conversation and opt for an easy breezy light option instead.

I often think … I’m more interesting than small talk would lead you to believe, but how would anybody know.

This idea of Big Talk has got me thinking… but not quite sure what to do with this notion of big talk. Do I start a club? Do I stroll around work and social gatherings asking the big questions or do I simply just work it into everyday conversation. I keep waiting for my chance or opportunity to make an impact on the world but don’t really know what or how I’m actually going to do to make this mark.

Something to work on perhaps.