The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck – How to stop spending time you don’t have with people you don’t like doing things you don’t want to do by Sarah Knight (phew! that’s a long title) is a brilliantly hilarious self-help wish type book jam packed with witty reworks of my favourite word – fuck! This book is totally different and completely flies in the face of the advice given in the book How To Be Parisian Wherever You Are, which is pretty indicative of life in general…a series of contradictions.
The aim of this book is to help you the reader, dish out your limited supply of fucks without turning into an asshole. Handy.
I’d walked past this book many times in airports or bookstores, every time looking at the title and chuckling to myself. Admittedly I honestly thought it was just going to be a giant yet hilarious piss-take, nothing too serious … I expected witty drivel. I definitely hadn’t imagined it was going to provide anything in terms of useful self-help tools, but I was SO WRONG!
Like everyone, I often go places and do things that I don’t really want to, I simply go along just to please others. I’ll go to places and do things even to my own emotional or financial detriment; and like many people, I then find myself randomly apologising even when I’ve done nothing wrong. I go so far as to pepper my work emails with phrases like “just wondering” and “is it possible to..” in order to take the sting out of anything I might have written.
But the bottom-line in a round-a-about kinda way is … we need to stop giving a fuck!
Similar, yet completely different to Marie Kondo’s (KonMari) book – The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, which links the physical clutter in your life to the amount of “joy” items provide in a bid to help you de-junk. Author Sarah shares why giving less fucks is important and explains how you can decide what you no longer give a fuck about, and how you can budget your time and energy just as easily as budgeting your cash.
“In summation, The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving A Fuck is all about prioritizing. Joy over annoy. Choice of obligation. Opinions vs feelings. Sticking to a budget. Eyes of the prize“
Sarah’s witty and ballsy writing style takes you on an honest journey (I just really wanted to include a self-help cliché) that answers all those obvious questions about to how to give less fucks and stop people pleasing, without being labelled a total asshole and potentially losing all your friends.
Understanding the NotSorry Method
Sarah’s answer to Marie Kondo’s KonMari Method is the NotSorry Method. When assessing if you truly give a fuck about something, simply ask yourself … Does it annoy? If the answer is yes, then stop giving a fuck!
But be warned it’s not as simple as throwing your hands in the air and screaming “no fucks given”… The NotSorry Method as explained in the book and reminds us, that there is a fine line between not giving a fuck and being a straight up arsehole. This book is not a guide to being an arsehole.
Drafting A Fuck Budget
So to really get value from this method, you’re best to actually read the book. There are no shortcuts to be found in this or any other review – Just read the damn book!
… but in short – Nail down the limited group of friends, family members, and coworkers you value the most and whom you will support enthusiastically. They get your fucks! Those not on the list are not guaranteed your time, effort, or funds. This will unleash a new found power of RSVPing No Thank You to things that simply don’t fit into your fuck budget.
Realising the Power Of No!
Once author Sarah Knight, started not giving a fuck about the little things that annoyed her like RSVPing to baby shower invites and putting make-up on to go grocery shopping she gained more time and money to do what she really enjoyed. “Your spirit will be lighter, your calendar will be clearer, and your time and energy will be spent on only the things and people you enjoy,” Sarah says.
The book includes a handy “Should I give a Fuck” flow chart, which starts with the all-important question “Does it annoy” and is a surprisingly useful tool for decoding your personal fuck allocation strategy. Right off the bat I need to warn you, you should read this book with pen and paper at the ready and probably some post-it notes too. The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving A F*ck is a book you will flick through again and again, referring to key pages, quotes, charts and snippets of information.
Throughout this book important life lessons are smothered in humour, making them easy to digest and simple to remember, plus there is a plethora of fun new words and terms smattered about the pages…. like Fucknado, Unfuckwithable, and fuck budget!
#ZeroFucks or #NoFucksGiven is a lie, even Sarah admits that only “sociopaths” or flat-out “assholes,” as she says, give “no” or “zero” fucks about work, family, friends, and social obligations. The key is prioritising the Fucks you have to give—and giving them to those who matter most. This includes most importantly—you. “Not giving a fuck means taking care of yourself first, like affixing your own oxygen mask before helping others.”
Fucking brilliant!! Don’t be afraid to by this book as a Christmas pressie for anyone who needs it.
