So let me set the scene for you…
In 2013 a friend and I were both trying to be healthy and get fit. We decided to turn it into mini challenge / group effort, meaning we’d check in with one another and keep each other motivated. I did well. This worked for me. I lost weight, gained muscle and toned up. People were even commenting how good I looked and how I’d lost weight around my face (I didn’t even know I carried extra weight around my face!).
My goal then, in 2013 was to get myself feeling comfortable enough to go swimming without my board shorts over my bikini bottoms.
Since then my weight has steadily climbed, so much I almost didn’t notice. I didn’t notice my knees disappear or lack of definition between my face and neck
Approximate start weight in 2013: 65-66kg
Approximate weight at my best 2013: 59 – 60kg
My weight at the start of 2015: 74kg
My weight today: 67kg
I don’t know what happened but by time 2014 rolled around I was slipping. As things got worse for me in terms of my mental health, I became more relaxed about my eating and exercising, telling myself I “couldn’t be good all the time” and I’d “been good all day and deserved a treat“. I was skipping gym appointments with my trainer and coming up with all kinds of excuses. I was booking spots in classes like spin and then just not going due to some lame “aliment” or bizarre reason. As I got more stressed my eating habits got worse… I was eating a packet of biscuits on the way to work, sneaking a kingsize block of chocolate while sitting at my desk and then skipping lunch only to gorge myself on an entire packet of crackers once I got home.
It was bad.
My weight climbed to 74kgs which is a lot for me, and it certainly wasn’t muscle. I was flitting between healthy eating and gorging. My attempts at being healthy would last hours rather than days. I was pigging out. I was pigging out on food that wasn’t even mine… someone would offer me 1 and I’d secretly take 3 or 4.
I had my measurements done at the gym in October, but have been far too scared to get them redone.
As my clothes got tighter and tighter, and fitting them was more of a struggle … I simply gave them away to a friend. I gave away hundreds, possibly thousands of dollars worth of clothes. I gave clothes to friends, I put clothes in clothing bins. I replaced my old clothes with oversized styles, and gave up swimming at the beach. I live at the beach, so not swimming at the beach is out right ridiculous. For a large amount of the year I sat at work wearing my puffer jacket.
The goal now is to get back into my old clothes, even the board shorts over my bikini bottoms.
Clearly this isn’t just a health issue but a mental health issue too, but for the purposes of this piece let’s stick to the health and fitness side.
The Beginning Of The Change:
It was almost like one of those quit smoking ads “you may not successful quit first time“… except unlike smoking there are no patches or gum. I tried and failed many, many times to turn things around. Even my up coming wedding in 2015 wasn’t going to keep me from my ice cream and chocolate. It wasn’t just a bad food which is the problem, its the quantity. I’m like a Labrador dog, I can just keep going.
So here I am… yet again starting over.
It’s been a slow steady run up this time, rather than going from zero to one hundred in a single bound I’m tackling things slowly and agreeing that I can’t be good all the time.
- Talked to the professionals – I started by seeking help at the gym, having my program re-done in order to keep me motivated and getting it redone regularly too.
- Took away temptation – I began leaving my wallet at home and taking a packed lunch to work. I couldn’t trust myself not to buy treats.
- Got Techie – Through utilising the My Fitness Pal app I’m calorie counting, which can be an obsessive habit to get into, but this in conjunction with my FitBit watch gives me an awareness of calories in and calories out. I’ve never really been particularly aware of in-take vs out-take… these two pieces of technology help me understand this better.
- Set Rules – I set myself some diet rules, and stuck them to the fridge and next to my week. Willpower isn’t really my strong point, and the rules seem to work well for me… who would’ve thought.
- Joined a thing – So to keep me motivated I’ve join Cross Fit, the regular workouts which are constantly varied are a great way to avoid getting bored. Cross Fit is always an individual thing so you don’t have that fear of letting down the team BUT it’s super supportive and kind of empowering when you do start to improve. I’m paying for three CrossFit classes per week it means I HAVE to go.
For me the hardest part for me with the whole fitness, health, weight loss journey is my lack of patience. I expect instant results and dramatic results. I have to remind myself that putting on the weight was a relatively slow process … so getting rid of it will be the same.
I’m not setting out to be a bikini competition babe, or Cross Fit super star. I’m most definitely not setting out to be a form fitspo for other women. I’m just trying to happy and healthy.