Mild adventurer. Prolific daydreamer. Always authentic.

Dear Diary – The Letter

Dear Diary,

I’ve reread the same letter from a high school friend nearly a hundred times of the past month.

It’s a letter from a once dear friend who I’m no longer in contact with. I’d completely forgotten about the letter, but obviously I always intended on keeping it. Tucked in with some other treasures from my teenage years, the letter was in a box that my Mum returned to me.

Dear Dee,

Merry Christmas and all that stuff.

… I always thought of you as too popular to lower yourself to my level. Thanks for picking you group.

The letter reads as though I was the cool kid at school blessing the less popular with my presence, the letter paints me as some delightfully kooky gal pal that’s friends with everybody. The truth, when I had no friends at school, and was walking around aimlessly one lunchtime it was her… she was the brilliantly friendly and wonderfully warm hearted person that let me tag along.

“You will always be my Dee – my friend that was such an inspiration throughout mean and difficult time. you were a role model in some ways –  a walking talking demonstration on how to shove Peer Pressure up my ass and to be what I was inside [sic]”

I only know secondhand what she’s up to nowadays, it’s been almost ten years since we’ve spoken and somehow I feel like I’ve failed her. I don’t know why we aren’t in touch, or perhaps I’ve blocked it out. The fact that I may have hurt someone who wrote to thank me for being their friend haunts me.

“…You put up with my quirks…”

Someone I was friends with thanked me for putting up with them!! I’m still wrapping my head around that. I’m still trying to decide what that says about me.

As I get older the years seem to flash by faster and faster, it seems like only yesterday I was 16 years old and now I’m 31!!! How did this happen? It’s May shortly and although my April challenge to myself went…. ummmm badly, I will pull up my socks and get cracking with my May challenge.

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